दिफ्फिचुल्ट तो स्टोप स्मोकिंग

As sequel to my last post I felt so dreadful to stop smoking even to think of it . I always thaught there was nothing wrong for me to stop it . But it boiled in my mind that I must stop smoking one day when my health does not permit it .
You know why it was impossible for me to quit the habit ? The number one reason for me to keep on smoking and couldn`t care a damn what people said was ; I always resisted the thaught of why should I when I lost my loving father at my early age . I was in primary one and at the age of 6 years old and my late father was just turn 30 .He did not smoke and I think he never touch any stick of cigarette at all in his life time . Then I compared my uncle who was working as a labourer in the local town council collecting public garbage almost everyday and guess what ? He was a heavy smoker and never once I saw him without a cigarette on his lip . I think he only stop smoking when he fall asleep . He died when he was 78 years old . He was a joyful man ,a musician as well as a carpenter . He travelled a lot during his lifetime especially after retiring . May God Almighty blessed both of them .
I will tell you more why I cannot quit smoking though I tried . Read more on the next post .
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किक तहत बद Habit

I was a smoker before and it takes me almost half a century to kick the habit once and for all in my life . I know that it is easier say than done . It was an agony to face both . I just cannot stop smoking and at the same time I just cannot carry on smoking . Because its torturing me mentally , physically and spiritually . What should I do ? Kill myself ? No way , I dont do such stupid thing . I must stop and quit smoking .

Because it really dreaded me throughout my life . I really hate it but at the same time I love it . I have been living with it for my entire life and it has become part of my life . I dont know what will happen to me if I live without it . Something is missing in my life and I`d rather die for it .

Imagine one day I told my wife in the middle of the night I love cigarette more than her and make her cried the whole night till dawn . I went out and live her alone in the house that night in heavy rain and terrible lightening just to get a stick of cigarette . Wow ! I am so cruel to her and I dont care . I must get a cigarette for whatever happen . I hate myself when think of that incident and hate cigarette .

How am I going to kick this dirty habit once and for all , I thaught . I have been smoking when I was 9 years old and that when I was in the third year primary school .

Read more in my next post .

किक थे बद हेविट