किक तहत बद Habit

I was a smoker before and it takes me almost half a century to kick the habit once and for all in my life . I know that it is easier say than done . It was an agony to face both . I just cannot stop smoking and at the same time I just cannot carry on smoking . Because its torturing me mentally , physically and spiritually . What should I do ? Kill myself ? No way , I dont do such stupid thing . I must stop and quit smoking .

Because it really dreaded me throughout my life . I really hate it but at the same time I love it . I have been living with it for my entire life and it has become part of my life . I dont know what will happen to me if I live without it . Something is missing in my life and I`d rather die for it .

Imagine one day I told my wife in the middle of the night I love cigarette more than her and make her cried the whole night till dawn . I went out and live her alone in the house that night in heavy rain and terrible lightening just to get a stick of cigarette . Wow ! I am so cruel to her and I dont care . I must get a cigarette for whatever happen . I hate myself when think of that incident and hate cigarette .

How am I going to kick this dirty habit once and for all , I thaught . I have been smoking when I was 9 years old and that when I was in the third year primary school .

Read more in my next post .